There are some key mistakes that guys are making over and over again which are destroying their chances of getting dates and getting women to go out with them. Let's take a look at these now so that you can avoid them in your own text messages.
Mistake One: Not Creating the Right State
There are two big mistakes that guys make. Firstly texting for too long before asking a girl out but the second one is asking her out without first creating the right emotional state. If you have not created this right emotional state before you ask her out then her will probably turn you down. The reason for this is that when you ask a girl out without first building up the right state she will probably have forgotten whatever good feelings she had when you got her number. Now you are just some random guy who has gotten her number. This is not a good starting point to get her to go out with you. Develop the right emotional state and she will be much warmer towards you.
Mistake Two: Taking Too Long To Ask Her Out
The flip side to asking her out too soon is to take too long. Just because she is responding to your texts does not mean she is becoming more attracted to you. In fact there is a good chance that if you text too long that you will either get filed into the "friend zone" or that you will say something which will destroy her attraction towards you.
Mistake Three: Failing To Ask Her Out
This might be obvious but it is still something that a lot of guys are doing. When you get her phone number it is easy to congratulate yourself but you still need to get her out on a date. Until you get her out on a date you do not have any real kind of connection.
Mistake Four: Double Texting
This is one of the kisses of death of texting and is something to avoid at all costs. The double text is where you send out two texts without her responding in the middle. It spells out desperation and has killed your chances of getting her out on a date in the future. If you are going to double text you need to wait at least a week between. It also displays the wrong mindset. If she doesn't get back to you in enough time you should be asking someone else out. Remember it's your world she is just living in it.
Mistake Five: Creating a Routine
Remember that what attracts girls and gets them out on a date is being fun. And a big part of being fun is being unpredictable. If you always respond immediately to her texts you are going to become predictable. While girls might say that they want a guy to get back to them quickly and that they hate to be kept waiting, this kind of behavior actually helps to create attraction. You want her wondering why you haven't got back to her so that a sense of expectation is created.
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Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Dating Advice - 15 Signs She Might Be A Player
As guys, we know that women can be complicated and tricky. Keep in mind that most women aren't out to play games, and are just good, well-intentioned girls. However, many guys know all too well that player girls are out there. Let's say you've meet someone new and things seem to be going well. She's smart, funny, sexy and seems like a great catch. However, there's a strange nagging feeling that you can't quite put your finger on it. Something just doesn't seem right. Perhaps some of her stories don't seem to add up, or there's been a bit of suspicious behavior. In relationships, it's always a good idea to trust your instincts, but conversely it's important to have facts before you take any drastic actions. Could you just be reading into things too much, or could it be that the girl you're dating might be a player? Here we'll help you find out if she's legit, or if she's not all that she seems.
What Is A Player?
Before we can figure out if she's a player, we first have to define exactly what a player is. This could mean a couple different things, but really a player is a girl who plays games with your emotions and is always on the look out to "trade up". The games she plays may vary, but it really just comes down to keeping you around to entertain her until she meets someone that she likes more. Some women are good at using lots of tricks to get us men wrapped around their finger, and then drop us like a dead fish as soon as they find someone else. Player girls are often very smart and adapt at manipulating you or pretend to care about you to get what they want. She could even be secretly seeing other people while making you think that you're the only one. Seeing several people at once doesn't automatically make her a player, just so she isn't hiding that fact. It's more about the honestly and intent.
What Makes Player Girls Tick?
A player girl's biggest motivation is that she doesn't want to be alone even for a few brief moments. Also, there's her irrational need to have lots of male attention at all times. Typically they will have several interested guys "orbiting" around trying to win her over. She plays along just enough to keep them around, but also acts aloof as if they're "just buddies".
Now that we know what a player girl is, let's take a look at some tell-tale signs to be on the look out for.
1- She flirts with other guys in front of you
This should be like a warning siren on a nuclear submarine. Try not over-react and give her some benefit of the doubt. You might be over analyzing the situation and seeing something that's not really there. Maybe she's just being nice. But if you're certain that she really is flirting with another guy, here's what to do. Don't be jerk, act rude or make a scene. Even if she is a player, word can get around if you react badly. Above all keep your cool. Just grab your cell phone, your keys and your dignity, stand up and leave. Play it cool and just make up some excuse that you forgot there's somewhere you've got to be. Try to leave gracefully and not make a scene. But let's be honest, if a girl would blatantly do this in front of you, then you two don't really have much of a future together.
2- She's often late and has a lot of weak excuses
Many girls are just constantly late or flaky. After all, looking amazing takes time, right. However, if she's constantly really late, doesn't show up at all or is always rescheduling at the last minute with really weak excuses, that's a bad sign. If her excuses just don't add up or make scene, it might be because they're not true.
3- She'll ditch you for her friends at the drop of a hat
You may have made plans with well in advance, but then she cancels the day of your big date. Unless she has a really good excuse, then I'd take this as a bad sign. Maybe another guy asked her out at the last minute so she ditched you. This is a common theme of player girls. They are often very insecure and can't stand the idea of being alone. Even if they don't really like a guy, they will keep him around as sort of a "hold over boyfriend" until they meet someone they like more. So if she'll break plans with you at the last minute to see her friends, then she probably isn't that into you. In this situation, it's best to move on.
4- She introduces you as a friend
If you've only been dating someone a short time, it could be normal for her to tell people that you're friends. However, she won't say things to people like "no, we're just friends". That's the kiss of death. Despite what movies and other pop-culture have lead you to believe, there's no escaping the friend-zone. Think of this, as a social black hole from which there is very little hope of returning. If you find yourself firmly stuck in friend-zone, it's best to just cut your losses and meet someone new. Keep in mind that a true player girl would always have at least a couple of "friend-zone" men around to keep her company at all times.
5- Her friends suddenly appear on your date
If you're out on what you understood to be a date, it's possible that you could happen to run into a few of her friends. In this situation, it's best to just be friendly and go with the flow. After all, if you can win over her friends then it can increase your chances of winning her over as well. On the other hand, if it seems that this happens every time you guys are together it could be by her design. She may have planned this as a way to avoid you two having to spend time along together. This could be a big sign that she just wants to be friends, but you'll need more information to make that call.
There's another popular variation of this that some girls often use. If at the last minute they ask if they can bring a friend, or just show up with one that could be a bad sign. If the friend is another guy, then it's pretty much over between the two of you. She is either just completely clueless or is actually playing games with you.
6- Talk a lot about other guys or ex-boyfriends
This is another warning flag to look-out for. It's obvious that if girl constantly talks about her ex, that she might not be over him. But what if a girl constantly talks about other guys? I used to be friends with this girl who we'll call Shaunda. All she ever talked about was all the guys she's dated, and every one of her stories started with "this guy I used to date... ". It seemed that she had dated a ton of guys, but never seemed to have a boyfriend. She was very attractive, so easily could have if she wanted to. Over time it became apparent that Shaunda was little bit of a player. She always needed to have lots of guys around her and always seemed to be looking for the next "trade-up".
7- She frequently lots needs alone time
This usually only applies if you've already been out with a girl a few times. Whenever you have plans (or try to make plans) does she says something like she's too busy and just needs a little time for herself? Then she assures you that she really does want to see you again soon. It could be that she really does needs some down time, but it could be a game she's playing. Perhaps she doesn't want to loose you completely, because she likes having guys around to pay attention to her. However, she doesn't want to actually be in a relationship with you and is just biding her time until she meets someone else.
8- Always seems "overly busy", flakey or won't commit to plans
This is another common girl trick. You want to make plans with her but she always act as if she is just supper busy in very non-specific, seemingly unimportant ways. It's possible that she has a very demanding job or really does have some legitimate reasons. However, this is the very nature of the types of tricks which players girls use. They have excuses that could be legitimate, and it's very hard to have a specific instance that you can call them out on.
9-"Call me to confirm"
In my opinion, this may be the smartest, most cunning and diabolical trick that player girls use. It's so ingenious that you have to almost admire it for its creativeness. "What's that... you want to see me on Thursday? I'm pretty sure I can make it, but just call me to confirm". If a girl ever said to you when you asked her out, then you've either just been massively blown off or are being placed in a "holding pattern" as a backup up in case nothing better comes along. What makes this so creative is that if something better does come up, she has an easy out. However, she still has the option to see you if nothing else materialize. In any situation like this, it's important to try and take the high road. Don't be rude or act like a jerk. Instead, play it cool. Maybe just say, "Sure, that sounds good". Then the next day text her to say that YOU had something come up and won't be able to see her as planed.
10- Breaks off dates at the last minuteSimilar to number 3, if she will break plans with you at the last minute (and with a very flimsy excuse) that could indicate that she's a player. It could be that she just has no interested in dating you at all. However, if she does tell you that she really does want to go out with you sometime, then it's likely that she's just playing games.
11-Never initiates contact or dates
If you have to do all the work to initiate contact or arrange dates, then it's not a good sign for that relationship. Imagine if one of your guy friends acted like that. You always had to call them, otherwise you never heard from them. That friendship probably wouldn't last too long, and the same thing applies here. Granted that some girls have more old-fashioned ideas about the guy taking the lead. But this usually only applies in the beginning of the relationship. Once you've gone out a few times, it's reasonable to expect her to take some initiative in calling, texting or wanting to see you.
12- Cheesy Excuses
If you constantly hear any of the following from a girl you've been seeing then be wary. "My phone died", "sorry, I forgot about our plans", "I got... busy", "maybe next time", "sorry you feel that way". She could just be trying to give you the hint that she's not into you, or she could be playing games.
13- Doesn't Show Affection
If you keep going out with a girl it's only naturally that you two would be affectionate. However, if it always seems like you have to initiate everything it could be a bad sign.
14- Only talks about herself
This one really gets to the heart of what motivates a girl who enjoys playing games. It's really all about selfishness. She really doesn't care about the guys she's leading on, and is really just interested in what's in it for her. If she constantly talks about herself and generally seems self-absorbed, that could be a bad sign for things to come.
15- Doesn't bring you around her friends
This is a classic sign that you're being lead-on. It's a bad sign if you've been seeing a girl for a while, but have never meet any of her friends. Does she ever bring you around her friends, or invites you to any social events with her friends? If the answer is no, it's because she doesn't want you to meet them. It's likely that she just sees you as "hold-over" material until someone better comes along. Similarly, it's a bad sign if she doesn't want to go anywhere in public with you where she might encounter people she knows.
The Wrap-Up
Us guys have to put up with a lot in our search for love. Even when we have the best intentions, it's possible the girl may not be on the up-and-up. As I mentioned before, don't be paranoid and just assume that all girls are like this. The majority of women out there are just decent people who do want to meet someone. But be on the look out for player girls. They can be rude, heartless and would probably ditch you in a second if something better came along. Player girls usually act this way out of a deep insecurity and shallowness. However, the real reason a girl treats you like this is that you let her. My personally dating philosophy which I try to stress is simple. No matter what happens, play it cool. Don't be a hot-headed jerk. Instead, if a girl treats you like this, just stop calling her. You can't save that relationship, but you can save your dignity. I know I've said this before. There are over 6 billion people on the planet. That means your odds on meeting someone new are pretty good.
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What Is A Player?
Before we can figure out if she's a player, we first have to define exactly what a player is. This could mean a couple different things, but really a player is a girl who plays games with your emotions and is always on the look out to "trade up". The games she plays may vary, but it really just comes down to keeping you around to entertain her until she meets someone that she likes more. Some women are good at using lots of tricks to get us men wrapped around their finger, and then drop us like a dead fish as soon as they find someone else. Player girls are often very smart and adapt at manipulating you or pretend to care about you to get what they want. She could even be secretly seeing other people while making you think that you're the only one. Seeing several people at once doesn't automatically make her a player, just so she isn't hiding that fact. It's more about the honestly and intent.
What Makes Player Girls Tick?
A player girl's biggest motivation is that she doesn't want to be alone even for a few brief moments. Also, there's her irrational need to have lots of male attention at all times. Typically they will have several interested guys "orbiting" around trying to win her over. She plays along just enough to keep them around, but also acts aloof as if they're "just buddies".
Now that we know what a player girl is, let's take a look at some tell-tale signs to be on the look out for.
1- She flirts with other guys in front of you
This should be like a warning siren on a nuclear submarine. Try not over-react and give her some benefit of the doubt. You might be over analyzing the situation and seeing something that's not really there. Maybe she's just being nice. But if you're certain that she really is flirting with another guy, here's what to do. Don't be jerk, act rude or make a scene. Even if she is a player, word can get around if you react badly. Above all keep your cool. Just grab your cell phone, your keys and your dignity, stand up and leave. Play it cool and just make up some excuse that you forgot there's somewhere you've got to be. Try to leave gracefully and not make a scene. But let's be honest, if a girl would blatantly do this in front of you, then you two don't really have much of a future together.
2- She's often late and has a lot of weak excuses
Many girls are just constantly late or flaky. After all, looking amazing takes time, right. However, if she's constantly really late, doesn't show up at all or is always rescheduling at the last minute with really weak excuses, that's a bad sign. If her excuses just don't add up or make scene, it might be because they're not true.
3- She'll ditch you for her friends at the drop of a hat
You may have made plans with well in advance, but then she cancels the day of your big date. Unless she has a really good excuse, then I'd take this as a bad sign. Maybe another guy asked her out at the last minute so she ditched you. This is a common theme of player girls. They are often very insecure and can't stand the idea of being alone. Even if they don't really like a guy, they will keep him around as sort of a "hold over boyfriend" until they meet someone they like more. So if she'll break plans with you at the last minute to see her friends, then she probably isn't that into you. In this situation, it's best to move on.
4- She introduces you as a friend
If you've only been dating someone a short time, it could be normal for her to tell people that you're friends. However, she won't say things to people like "no, we're just friends". That's the kiss of death. Despite what movies and other pop-culture have lead you to believe, there's no escaping the friend-zone. Think of this, as a social black hole from which there is very little hope of returning. If you find yourself firmly stuck in friend-zone, it's best to just cut your losses and meet someone new. Keep in mind that a true player girl would always have at least a couple of "friend-zone" men around to keep her company at all times.
5- Her friends suddenly appear on your date
If you're out on what you understood to be a date, it's possible that you could happen to run into a few of her friends. In this situation, it's best to just be friendly and go with the flow. After all, if you can win over her friends then it can increase your chances of winning her over as well. On the other hand, if it seems that this happens every time you guys are together it could be by her design. She may have planned this as a way to avoid you two having to spend time along together. This could be a big sign that she just wants to be friends, but you'll need more information to make that call.
There's another popular variation of this that some girls often use. If at the last minute they ask if they can bring a friend, or just show up with one that could be a bad sign. If the friend is another guy, then it's pretty much over between the two of you. She is either just completely clueless or is actually playing games with you.
6- Talk a lot about other guys or ex-boyfriends
This is another warning flag to look-out for. It's obvious that if girl constantly talks about her ex, that she might not be over him. But what if a girl constantly talks about other guys? I used to be friends with this girl who we'll call Shaunda. All she ever talked about was all the guys she's dated, and every one of her stories started with "this guy I used to date... ". It seemed that she had dated a ton of guys, but never seemed to have a boyfriend. She was very attractive, so easily could have if she wanted to. Over time it became apparent that Shaunda was little bit of a player. She always needed to have lots of guys around her and always seemed to be looking for the next "trade-up".
7- She frequently lots needs alone time
This usually only applies if you've already been out with a girl a few times. Whenever you have plans (or try to make plans) does she says something like she's too busy and just needs a little time for herself? Then she assures you that she really does want to see you again soon. It could be that she really does needs some down time, but it could be a game she's playing. Perhaps she doesn't want to loose you completely, because she likes having guys around to pay attention to her. However, she doesn't want to actually be in a relationship with you and is just biding her time until she meets someone else.
8- Always seems "overly busy", flakey or won't commit to plans
This is another common girl trick. You want to make plans with her but she always act as if she is just supper busy in very non-specific, seemingly unimportant ways. It's possible that she has a very demanding job or really does have some legitimate reasons. However, this is the very nature of the types of tricks which players girls use. They have excuses that could be legitimate, and it's very hard to have a specific instance that you can call them out on.
9-"Call me to confirm"
In my opinion, this may be the smartest, most cunning and diabolical trick that player girls use. It's so ingenious that you have to almost admire it for its creativeness. "What's that... you want to see me on Thursday? I'm pretty sure I can make it, but just call me to confirm". If a girl ever said to you when you asked her out, then you've either just been massively blown off or are being placed in a "holding pattern" as a backup up in case nothing better comes along. What makes this so creative is that if something better does come up, she has an easy out. However, she still has the option to see you if nothing else materialize. In any situation like this, it's important to try and take the high road. Don't be rude or act like a jerk. Instead, play it cool. Maybe just say, "Sure, that sounds good". Then the next day text her to say that YOU had something come up and won't be able to see her as planed.
10- Breaks off dates at the last minuteSimilar to number 3, if she will break plans with you at the last minute (and with a very flimsy excuse) that could indicate that she's a player. It could be that she just has no interested in dating you at all. However, if she does tell you that she really does want to go out with you sometime, then it's likely that she's just playing games.
11-Never initiates contact or dates
If you have to do all the work to initiate contact or arrange dates, then it's not a good sign for that relationship. Imagine if one of your guy friends acted like that. You always had to call them, otherwise you never heard from them. That friendship probably wouldn't last too long, and the same thing applies here. Granted that some girls have more old-fashioned ideas about the guy taking the lead. But this usually only applies in the beginning of the relationship. Once you've gone out a few times, it's reasonable to expect her to take some initiative in calling, texting or wanting to see you.
12- Cheesy Excuses
If you constantly hear any of the following from a girl you've been seeing then be wary. "My phone died", "sorry, I forgot about our plans", "I got... busy", "maybe next time", "sorry you feel that way". She could just be trying to give you the hint that she's not into you, or she could be playing games.
13- Doesn't Show Affection
If you keep going out with a girl it's only naturally that you two would be affectionate. However, if it always seems like you have to initiate everything it could be a bad sign.
14- Only talks about herself
This one really gets to the heart of what motivates a girl who enjoys playing games. It's really all about selfishness. She really doesn't care about the guys she's leading on, and is really just interested in what's in it for her. If she constantly talks about herself and generally seems self-absorbed, that could be a bad sign for things to come.
15- Doesn't bring you around her friends
This is a classic sign that you're being lead-on. It's a bad sign if you've been seeing a girl for a while, but have never meet any of her friends. Does she ever bring you around her friends, or invites you to any social events with her friends? If the answer is no, it's because she doesn't want you to meet them. It's likely that she just sees you as "hold-over" material until someone better comes along. Similarly, it's a bad sign if she doesn't want to go anywhere in public with you where she might encounter people she knows.
The Wrap-Up
Us guys have to put up with a lot in our search for love. Even when we have the best intentions, it's possible the girl may not be on the up-and-up. As I mentioned before, don't be paranoid and just assume that all girls are like this. The majority of women out there are just decent people who do want to meet someone. But be on the look out for player girls. They can be rude, heartless and would probably ditch you in a second if something better came along. Player girls usually act this way out of a deep insecurity and shallowness. However, the real reason a girl treats you like this is that you let her. My personally dating philosophy which I try to stress is simple. No matter what happens, play it cool. Don't be a hot-headed jerk. Instead, if a girl treats you like this, just stop calling her. You can't save that relationship, but you can save your dignity. I know I've said this before. There are over 6 billion people on the planet. That means your odds on meeting someone new are pretty good.
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Complimenting a Woman - 3 Wrong Turns Men Take
Is it wrong to compliment a woman? Is it bad to show your interest or liking for her through compliments? The answer is no, it's not wrong, but you must be careful. Often a man will do one of three things wrong when trying to flatter the object of his affection. If you're not careful, your well-intentioned compliment will be taken wrongly and you're screwed. Here's where you can go wrong and how to avoid it.
Comments about Her Looks
I know this sounds crazy, but complimenting a woman on her appearance can be one of the worst things you can do. I know, I know, I'm nuts, right? Well, I can explain. Women receive appearance compliments all the time, so they scrutinize the compliment, going under the surface to find out what you're really after. If she figures you're only complimenting her to get her into bed, stick a fork in yourself because you're done. On the opposite end, if she has low self-esteem caused by her own view of her looks, she will likely think you're complimenting her because you feel sorry for her. Again, get the fork out because you're done. Instead, compliment her on her personality for example, something about her and the way she acts that you genuinely find attractive.
It's Not What You Say, It's How You Say It
You don't have to be Casanova, but you have to be smooth somewhat. If your timing is bad, the compliment won't be well-received and you likely won't be seen as sincere or if you just break out with a compliment, you may embarrass her. A good way to put a compliment in is to present it as something that just popped in your mind that you wanted to say while you are talking about something else. This way you show that you wanted to let her know that, and interrupted yourself to do it. This makes it on-the-fly and instills some genuineness.
Don't Explain It
If you compliment a woman and feel like many guys do, that it came out wrong, or maybe that a different meaning was attached, you may feel the need to explain what you meant by what you said. Don't do that! If she did take it the wrong way, let her know that you were trying to compliment her and keep on with the conversation. It is awkward when your attempt at a compliment goes awry, but just let that one awkward moment pass and keep on talking. Laugh at yourself and admit that you goofed. Avoid these errors and you will be able to compliment her without her feeling uncomfortable. If you would like more tips on complimenting women, just let me know and I'll be glad to offer my knowledge to you.
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Comments about Her Looks
I know this sounds crazy, but complimenting a woman on her appearance can be one of the worst things you can do. I know, I know, I'm nuts, right? Well, I can explain. Women receive appearance compliments all the time, so they scrutinize the compliment, going under the surface to find out what you're really after. If she figures you're only complimenting her to get her into bed, stick a fork in yourself because you're done. On the opposite end, if she has low self-esteem caused by her own view of her looks, she will likely think you're complimenting her because you feel sorry for her. Again, get the fork out because you're done. Instead, compliment her on her personality for example, something about her and the way she acts that you genuinely find attractive.
It's Not What You Say, It's How You Say It
You don't have to be Casanova, but you have to be smooth somewhat. If your timing is bad, the compliment won't be well-received and you likely won't be seen as sincere or if you just break out with a compliment, you may embarrass her. A good way to put a compliment in is to present it as something that just popped in your mind that you wanted to say while you are talking about something else. This way you show that you wanted to let her know that, and interrupted yourself to do it. This makes it on-the-fly and instills some genuineness.
Don't Explain It
If you compliment a woman and feel like many guys do, that it came out wrong, or maybe that a different meaning was attached, you may feel the need to explain what you meant by what you said. Don't do that! If she did take it the wrong way, let her know that you were trying to compliment her and keep on with the conversation. It is awkward when your attempt at a compliment goes awry, but just let that one awkward moment pass and keep on talking. Laugh at yourself and admit that you goofed. Avoid these errors and you will be able to compliment her without her feeling uncomfortable. If you would like more tips on complimenting women, just let me know and I'll be glad to offer my knowledge to you.
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Five Secrets to Texting Girls
You do not have to be a Casanova to be successful with text messaging but there are some basic rules you should follow if you don't want that phone number to go to waste. Here you will learn five secrets to texting girls so that the next time you get a girls phone number you can be sure that she will go out with you.
Secret One: It's The Content Not the Timing
Guys obsess a lot over when they should ask a girl out after getting her phone number. While not appearing too desperate is important what is far more important is what message you send to her rather than the timing. If you send out a good text message then you could get her phone number in the morning and have her out on a date by the evening. If you send a bad message it doesn't matter if you observe "the three day rule or not"
Secret Two: Don't Ask Her Out on a Date
This might seem like a really strange thing to say. After all surely the entire point of getting her phone number is to get her out on a date. This is in fact only half true. You do want to get her out of her house and spending time with you. What you don't want to be doing is asking her out on a date. The distinction is as follows. When you ask a girl out on a date you are asking her ahead of time if you she would like to do something specific thing at a specific date and time. This might be to go to a movie with you, have dinner or go to a concert. The big problem with this approach is that she can easily reject you and if she does you won't be easily able to save the situation.
The alternative is to not preplan but next time you are doing something anyway invite her along. For example next time you are getting a coffee you shoot her a text telling her you are going to Starbucks and ask her if she would like to meet up, or next time you are going to see your friends band play you ask if she would like to come along and that you can put her name on the door. The great thing about this approach is if she says no it isn't a big problem. You didn't really ask her out so you can keep trying. Often you will find that while she won't go out with you that night if you get her on the right night you will be successful.
Secret Three: Keep It Informal
You don't want to be too formal with your texts. If you start out trying to be too formal such as telling her how much you like her or that you hope she had a good evening you are forcing her too choose whether she wants you to be her boyfriend or not. At the start of a relationship when she is not even comfortable with you yet there is a good chance she will reject you. Instead keep it fun and simple and talk to her like you already know her well.
Secret Four: Make a Connection
When we talk to our friends and family we don't introduce ourselves first or use other formalities. We start in the middle of an ongoing conversation. This is the best approach to use when texting a girl as well. Start by refereeing to something that happened last time you saw her. This helps to overcome the stranger problem that you don't really know each other. Instead it emphasizes your shared history no matter how short that is.
Secret Five: Don't Procrastinate
While you don't want to be asking her out on formal dates you shouldn't procrastinate either. The longer you spend texting her without getting her out on a date the less likely the text conversation will turn into a real relationship. Come up with something for the two of you to today as soon as possible after getting her phone number.
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Secret One: It's The Content Not the Timing
Guys obsess a lot over when they should ask a girl out after getting her phone number. While not appearing too desperate is important what is far more important is what message you send to her rather than the timing. If you send out a good text message then you could get her phone number in the morning and have her out on a date by the evening. If you send a bad message it doesn't matter if you observe "the three day rule or not"
Secret Two: Don't Ask Her Out on a Date
This might seem like a really strange thing to say. After all surely the entire point of getting her phone number is to get her out on a date. This is in fact only half true. You do want to get her out of her house and spending time with you. What you don't want to be doing is asking her out on a date. The distinction is as follows. When you ask a girl out on a date you are asking her ahead of time if you she would like to do something specific thing at a specific date and time. This might be to go to a movie with you, have dinner or go to a concert. The big problem with this approach is that she can easily reject you and if she does you won't be easily able to save the situation.
The alternative is to not preplan but next time you are doing something anyway invite her along. For example next time you are getting a coffee you shoot her a text telling her you are going to Starbucks and ask her if she would like to meet up, or next time you are going to see your friends band play you ask if she would like to come along and that you can put her name on the door. The great thing about this approach is if she says no it isn't a big problem. You didn't really ask her out so you can keep trying. Often you will find that while she won't go out with you that night if you get her on the right night you will be successful.
Secret Three: Keep It Informal
You don't want to be too formal with your texts. If you start out trying to be too formal such as telling her how much you like her or that you hope she had a good evening you are forcing her too choose whether she wants you to be her boyfriend or not. At the start of a relationship when she is not even comfortable with you yet there is a good chance she will reject you. Instead keep it fun and simple and talk to her like you already know her well.
Secret Four: Make a Connection
When we talk to our friends and family we don't introduce ourselves first or use other formalities. We start in the middle of an ongoing conversation. This is the best approach to use when texting a girl as well. Start by refereeing to something that happened last time you saw her. This helps to overcome the stranger problem that you don't really know each other. Instead it emphasizes your shared history no matter how short that is.
Secret Five: Don't Procrastinate
While you don't want to be asking her out on formal dates you shouldn't procrastinate either. The longer you spend texting her without getting her out on a date the less likely the text conversation will turn into a real relationship. Come up with something for the two of you to today as soon as possible after getting her phone number.
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9 Simple Steps to Make Your Relationship Work Perfectly
I am happy to tell you some things you need to know and practise in other to make your relationship a better one and once you can be able to know all this and practise them believe me you will Enjoy your relationship, without wasting time here are the list of 9 things you need to know in your relationship;
1. LOVE: In a relationship love is very important, you must love your partner though this days some people pretend to love while they are not but due to their selfish interest they claim to love, so in a Good relationship LOVE should be the first consideration
In my next article, I will be teaching you how to know true love so that you don't be deceived by anybody.
2. CARING AND KIND: In other to make your relationship work you need to be caring and kind to your partner, we all know that no one is perfect in life but once you as a man or woman love your partner and have the desire to make him/her happy you will always do better because no one does it perfect.
ways to be caring and kind to your partner:
- Always check on her/his face to know when things is not normal with her/him or when there is a burden in his/her heart.
- surprise her/him with gift and Roses, with this he/she will feel happy and loved.
- Always be a companion to your partner, don't make her/him feel alone always be there for her/him etc.
3. GOOD UNDERSTANDING: You must have Good understanding in other to make your relationship work and last as you wish, we all know that no matter how deeply love is there must be a misuderstanding in one way or the other because we are different in characters but the question is can you be able to understand your partner? Well i might answer Yes you can, all you need to do is always be wise try to find out how your partner behaves and try to be tolerant in some cases or matters don't always be right try to admit your mistakes.
4. OBEDIENCE: Try to be humble to your partner and respect his or her wishes, being humble to your partner will help your relationship work smoothly and perfectly.
5. EXPRESSION: You must be able to express your feelings and love to your partner don't hind it in your heart, we normally believe in the word (seeing is believing) let her/him know that you truly love him or her and how you feel being in love with someone like him/her.
- On the contrary Expression is not only involved in sharing your feelings but also try to be able to share your problems and burdens with him or her because problem shared is problem solved.
6. FORGIVENESS Forgiveness is very essential in a relationships you need to be able to forgive one another in other to keep the relationship going because as i said before no one is perfect and in a relationship misunderstanding is common and in other to overcome it you must be able to forgive when necessary.
7. SELFISHNESS: To maintain a Good relationship you must not include your personal and unnecessary heart desires.
8. DON'T BE TOO DEMANDING: In a relationship you must be careful in what you request from your partner don't make your partner believe you love him or being with him/her because of what you stand to gain from him or her though I don't mean you can't ask or request for anything but be careful by given it a long space after making a request before requesting for another one, always be real to your partner and demand for something when necessary, be reasonable when your request is not yet available.
9. INCLUDE GOD IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS: In other to maintain and be happy in your relationship or in your marital love life you need to make God your author of you life, he will help you differentiate between the Good and Bad and he will also lead you to the right direction, with him nothing is impossible he holds the key of your life and relationship he can make it work out for you.
Once you believe and practice all this your relationship will work perfectly and smoothly.
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1. LOVE: In a relationship love is very important, you must love your partner though this days some people pretend to love while they are not but due to their selfish interest they claim to love, so in a Good relationship LOVE should be the first consideration
In my next article, I will be teaching you how to know true love so that you don't be deceived by anybody.
2. CARING AND KIND: In other to make your relationship work you need to be caring and kind to your partner, we all know that no one is perfect in life but once you as a man or woman love your partner and have the desire to make him/her happy you will always do better because no one does it perfect.
ways to be caring and kind to your partner:
- Always check on her/his face to know when things is not normal with her/him or when there is a burden in his/her heart.
- surprise her/him with gift and Roses, with this he/she will feel happy and loved.
- Always be a companion to your partner, don't make her/him feel alone always be there for her/him etc.
3. GOOD UNDERSTANDING: You must have Good understanding in other to make your relationship work and last as you wish, we all know that no matter how deeply love is there must be a misuderstanding in one way or the other because we are different in characters but the question is can you be able to understand your partner? Well i might answer Yes you can, all you need to do is always be wise try to find out how your partner behaves and try to be tolerant in some cases or matters don't always be right try to admit your mistakes.
4. OBEDIENCE: Try to be humble to your partner and respect his or her wishes, being humble to your partner will help your relationship work smoothly and perfectly.
5. EXPRESSION: You must be able to express your feelings and love to your partner don't hind it in your heart, we normally believe in the word (seeing is believing) let her/him know that you truly love him or her and how you feel being in love with someone like him/her.
- On the contrary Expression is not only involved in sharing your feelings but also try to be able to share your problems and burdens with him or her because problem shared is problem solved.
6. FORGIVENESS Forgiveness is very essential in a relationships you need to be able to forgive one another in other to keep the relationship going because as i said before no one is perfect and in a relationship misunderstanding is common and in other to overcome it you must be able to forgive when necessary.
7. SELFISHNESS: To maintain a Good relationship you must not include your personal and unnecessary heart desires.
8. DON'T BE TOO DEMANDING: In a relationship you must be careful in what you request from your partner don't make your partner believe you love him or being with him/her because of what you stand to gain from him or her though I don't mean you can't ask or request for anything but be careful by given it a long space after making a request before requesting for another one, always be real to your partner and demand for something when necessary, be reasonable when your request is not yet available.
9. INCLUDE GOD IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS: In other to maintain and be happy in your relationship or in your marital love life you need to make God your author of you life, he will help you differentiate between the Good and Bad and he will also lead you to the right direction, with him nothing is impossible he holds the key of your life and relationship he can make it work out for you.
Once you believe and practice all this your relationship will work perfectly and smoothly.
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Monday, 15 October 2012
How to Mend a Broken Heart - Help Your Heart Heal After a Break-Up
You have loved and lost, now you are left behind and aching inside. At one point in your life, you have given a friend or a loved one advice on how to mend a broken heart. You never imagined that you could be in this situation and yet you just don't know how to start.
Moving on is always easier said than done, when something so familiar to you and has been with you for the longest time, it always so painful to part with it and the fear of separation is so difficult. You are left on your own to deal with all of it. Here are a few steps on how to mend a broken heart:
Let it just take over you.
Sometimes the best way for you to get over something is when you go through it. If you feel like crying, just go ahead and cry. Go through boxes of Kleenex, play every heart breaking love song you know, watch hours and hours of sad movies, binge on ice cream and chocolate. You may go through phases of sadness, anger and at some point you will beg to have another shot at the relationship once again. To let yourself heal, you must just let yourself go.
Get busy
You may have heard this many times, but it is one of the ways n how to heal a broken heart. You keep yourself occupied. You surround yourself with the people you love, try new things with them and discover the things that you could have been doing in the first place, but there was someone before this who kept you from doing these things.
Pro's and Con's
Sometimes listing the good and bad things that came out from a failed relationship is how you should mend a broken heart. Looking back at your experience you will find the reasons where it went and how much you have grown from it. Remember, what doesn't kill will make you stronger.
Let yourself heal
Allow yourself room to breathe, getting into another relationship after a break-up is never really a good way to let yourself heal. Give yourself some time and allow yourself to get back in no fighting form so to speak. Find yourself again, sometimes after a break-up we are still picking up pieces of our self. Compose yourself and regain your momentum.
Do not lose hope
When you gone through something so painful, we always question ourselves and always blame ourselves for it. Everyone goes through a break-up at one point in their lives. We just handle pain differently. Just because this happened to you, whether you were left for someone else or it just didn't work out, always give yourself another chance. Never lose hope and have faith that there is someone out there waiting for you.
People handle pain differently from one another, we always go through the same process of finding how to mend a broken heart and finding the guide that will help get through painful break-ups. One thing that is important, regardless of the reason why this happened to you, remember that if you want to forget you must learn to forgive. Don't dwell on the past anymore as it won't do anything to help you move on. It takes time but eventually, you will achieve healing if you are just open to it.
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Moving on is always easier said than done, when something so familiar to you and has been with you for the longest time, it always so painful to part with it and the fear of separation is so difficult. You are left on your own to deal with all of it. Here are a few steps on how to mend a broken heart:
Let it just take over you.
Sometimes the best way for you to get over something is when you go through it. If you feel like crying, just go ahead and cry. Go through boxes of Kleenex, play every heart breaking love song you know, watch hours and hours of sad movies, binge on ice cream and chocolate. You may go through phases of sadness, anger and at some point you will beg to have another shot at the relationship once again. To let yourself heal, you must just let yourself go.
Get busy
You may have heard this many times, but it is one of the ways n how to heal a broken heart. You keep yourself occupied. You surround yourself with the people you love, try new things with them and discover the things that you could have been doing in the first place, but there was someone before this who kept you from doing these things.
Pro's and Con's
Sometimes listing the good and bad things that came out from a failed relationship is how you should mend a broken heart. Looking back at your experience you will find the reasons where it went and how much you have grown from it. Remember, what doesn't kill will make you stronger.
Let yourself heal
Allow yourself room to breathe, getting into another relationship after a break-up is never really a good way to let yourself heal. Give yourself some time and allow yourself to get back in no fighting form so to speak. Find yourself again, sometimes after a break-up we are still picking up pieces of our self. Compose yourself and regain your momentum.
Do not lose hope
When you gone through something so painful, we always question ourselves and always blame ourselves for it. Everyone goes through a break-up at one point in their lives. We just handle pain differently. Just because this happened to you, whether you were left for someone else or it just didn't work out, always give yourself another chance. Never lose hope and have faith that there is someone out there waiting for you.
People handle pain differently from one another, we always go through the same process of finding how to mend a broken heart and finding the guide that will help get through painful break-ups. One thing that is important, regardless of the reason why this happened to you, remember that if you want to forget you must learn to forgive. Don't dwell on the past anymore as it won't do anything to help you move on. It takes time but eventually, you will achieve healing if you are just open to it.
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Sunday, 14 October 2012
Is It Just Sex or Does He Want a Serious Relationship With You?
Face it, ladies. You've all wondered what your man is thinking. You've likely wondered whether he's only into you for sex or if he's wanting a relationship, too. You ask yourself whether you should give it up or hold it back until you find out. This can cause a lot of confusion in your mind and maybe even keep you up late at night, wondering. Well, it's time to clear up the questions and give you some answers. Keep reading for ways to know what's what and save your heart the ache.
Ways Of The Old School
In the old days, you had to be a virgin until you were married and the marriage was officially official when you and your new husband had sex. If a man and woman were dating and they had sex before marriage, they either had to get married or the man ended up in big trouble, usually at the hands of a very angry father. Even in some cultures today, love isn't considered when getting married, such as in arranged marriages.
Enter The New School
Well, now we live in modern times. The wheel has been invented and improved, and we live in houses or apartments rather than caves. Love and the willingness to commit to one person determines marriage. You can have sex with someone without having to marry them afterward or being married first.
How You Know What He Wants
There are ways to tell if your guy is wanting to have a relationship with you or just wants to get you out of your clothes and in his bed. One way to tell is his calling habits. Does he call often and initiate situations to be with you? Has he been getting flowers or doing other things to woo you? If this is the case, you can safely say that he wants to make you his girlfriend. If he calls only every now and then, and only around nighttime, around midnight or afterwards and he's wanting to hook up, then your status probably won't make it past booty call.
Although you won't be executed for not being a virgin when you get married, keeping your goodies to yourself is not necessarily a bad thing. It's good to want to know whether he's looking to be with you or just in you. Of course, this and any other decision is always ultimately up to you. If you find you're just looking for a good time, then go ahead. If you want to know more about if he's wanting you or what's in your pants, just let me know. I'll be glad to advise you.
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Ways Of The Old School
In the old days, you had to be a virgin until you were married and the marriage was officially official when you and your new husband had sex. If a man and woman were dating and they had sex before marriage, they either had to get married or the man ended up in big trouble, usually at the hands of a very angry father. Even in some cultures today, love isn't considered when getting married, such as in arranged marriages.
Enter The New School
Well, now we live in modern times. The wheel has been invented and improved, and we live in houses or apartments rather than caves. Love and the willingness to commit to one person determines marriage. You can have sex with someone without having to marry them afterward or being married first.
How You Know What He Wants
There are ways to tell if your guy is wanting to have a relationship with you or just wants to get you out of your clothes and in his bed. One way to tell is his calling habits. Does he call often and initiate situations to be with you? Has he been getting flowers or doing other things to woo you? If this is the case, you can safely say that he wants to make you his girlfriend. If he calls only every now and then, and only around nighttime, around midnight or afterwards and he's wanting to hook up, then your status probably won't make it past booty call.
Although you won't be executed for not being a virgin when you get married, keeping your goodies to yourself is not necessarily a bad thing. It's good to want to know whether he's looking to be with you or just in you. Of course, this and any other decision is always ultimately up to you. If you find you're just looking for a good time, then go ahead. If you want to know more about if he's wanting you or what's in your pants, just let me know. I'll be glad to advise you.
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How to Date Younger and Sexier Women
Have you joined the many men who are older now, but dating a younger woman? Have you found yourself single again and wondering about dating a younger woman? A lot of women these days are looking for an older man to date. Have you wondered why? Well, wonder no more, because here are the main reasons why many younger women are looking for that older man.
Just Be Yourself
You've likely heard that saying that goes "Age is nothing but a number". In many cases, this is true. If love is a factor, then nothing else will matter, not even age difference. If you are an older man who's dating a younger woman, just continue to be yourself in how you act. In other words, act your age. One thing that a lot of younger women are looking for is maturity. A natural response when dating a younger woman would be to act younger around her. This is not necessary. There is no need to change yourself to fit the age group of the woman you're with. If she's with you for you, then being yourself is the best thing you can do.
I've Got... Personality
If you have that shining personality, you will likely attract a younger woman which is good if this is your goal. If you have a great personality, coupled with your maturity, you will find yourself in a good position. Your smile and showing your heart, being there for her in ways that no one else has will endear you to her. This can eliminate any doubts that she may be harboring about dating an older man.
Funny Attracts Honey
If you have an adaptable and quick sense of humor to any situation, you will set yourself apart from the rest. Age equals experience, and this experience is a great advantage if you've developed your sense of humor. Younger women who date older men often do so because of their sense of humor. Make her smile and laugh, and you will have the best chance at winning her heart.
Money=Security
Many younger women want a taste of the good life, and if you're an older man who is secure in the cash department, then you have a distinct advantage. Many younger women know what they want already and if you can and are willing to provide the finer things in her life that she may have dreamed of, then she will be very pleased. If you can take her out to a fancy restaurant and set her up with a fine wine or a meal prepared by a star chef, you will be fulfilling a fantasy of hers. You may not need to do this often, but it will leave a smile in her heart and a confidence on her mind knowing you have the ability to give her these things should she desire them.
Older Men Are More Faithful
This reason is a big one to younger women who seek to date an older man. They are not worried about an older man cheating because they are more mature and more stable. The older man/younger woman relationship is not new, and in the younger woman's mind, often this type of relationship is preferred because of the stability, security, and maturity that is usually inherent in this type of relationship. An older man usually knows what he wants as well and is not afraid or unwilling to be a giver of attention, affection, and pampering that many women desire. Now you know why many younger women date older men. Would you like to know more about this or other topics related to dating? Just let me know and I will be happy to provide you with the answers you seek.
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Just Be Yourself
You've likely heard that saying that goes "Age is nothing but a number". In many cases, this is true. If love is a factor, then nothing else will matter, not even age difference. If you are an older man who's dating a younger woman, just continue to be yourself in how you act. In other words, act your age. One thing that a lot of younger women are looking for is maturity. A natural response when dating a younger woman would be to act younger around her. This is not necessary. There is no need to change yourself to fit the age group of the woman you're with. If she's with you for you, then being yourself is the best thing you can do.
I've Got... Personality
If you have that shining personality, you will likely attract a younger woman which is good if this is your goal. If you have a great personality, coupled with your maturity, you will find yourself in a good position. Your smile and showing your heart, being there for her in ways that no one else has will endear you to her. This can eliminate any doubts that she may be harboring about dating an older man.
Funny Attracts Honey
If you have an adaptable and quick sense of humor to any situation, you will set yourself apart from the rest. Age equals experience, and this experience is a great advantage if you've developed your sense of humor. Younger women who date older men often do so because of their sense of humor. Make her smile and laugh, and you will have the best chance at winning her heart.
Money=Security
Many younger women want a taste of the good life, and if you're an older man who is secure in the cash department, then you have a distinct advantage. Many younger women know what they want already and if you can and are willing to provide the finer things in her life that she may have dreamed of, then she will be very pleased. If you can take her out to a fancy restaurant and set her up with a fine wine or a meal prepared by a star chef, you will be fulfilling a fantasy of hers. You may not need to do this often, but it will leave a smile in her heart and a confidence on her mind knowing you have the ability to give her these things should she desire them.
Older Men Are More Faithful
This reason is a big one to younger women who seek to date an older man. They are not worried about an older man cheating because they are more mature and more stable. The older man/younger woman relationship is not new, and in the younger woman's mind, often this type of relationship is preferred because of the stability, security, and maturity that is usually inherent in this type of relationship. An older man usually knows what he wants as well and is not afraid or unwilling to be a giver of attention, affection, and pampering that many women desire. Now you know why many younger women date older men. Would you like to know more about this or other topics related to dating? Just let me know and I will be happy to provide you with the answers you seek.
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