There are some key mistakes that guys are making over and over again which are destroying their chances of getting dates and getting women to go out with them. Let's take a look at these now so that you can avoid them in your own text messages.
Mistake One: Not Creating the Right State
There are two big mistakes that guys make. Firstly texting for too long before asking a girl out but the second one is asking her out without first creating the right emotional state. If you have not created this right emotional state before you ask her out then her will probably turn you down. The reason for this is that when you ask a girl out without first building up the right state she will probably have forgotten whatever good feelings she had when you got her number. Now you are just some random guy who has gotten her number. This is not a good starting point to get her to go out with you. Develop the right emotional state and she will be much warmer towards you.
Mistake Two: Taking Too Long To Ask Her Out
The flip side to asking her out too soon is to take too long. Just because she is responding to your texts does not mean she is becoming more attracted to you. In fact there is a good chance that if you text too long that you will either get filed into the "friend zone" or that you will say something which will destroy her attraction towards you.
Mistake Three: Failing To Ask Her Out
This might be obvious but it is still something that a lot of guys are doing. When you get her phone number it is easy to congratulate yourself but you still need to get her out on a date. Until you get her out on a date you do not have any real kind of connection.
Mistake Four: Double Texting
This is one of the kisses of death of texting and is something to avoid at all costs. The double text is where you send out two texts without her responding in the middle. It spells out desperation and has killed your chances of getting her out on a date in the future. If you are going to double text you need to wait at least a week between. It also displays the wrong mindset. If she doesn't get back to you in enough time you should be asking someone else out. Remember it's your world she is just living in it.
Mistake Five: Creating a Routine
Remember that what attracts girls and gets them out on a date is being fun. And a big part of being fun is being unpredictable. If you always respond immediately to her texts you are going to become predictable. While girls might say that they want a guy to get back to them quickly and that they hate to be kept waiting, this kind of behavior actually helps to create attraction. You want her wondering why you haven't got back to her so that a sense of expectation is created.
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Showing posts with label Girls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Girls. Show all posts
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Five Secrets to Texting Girls
You do not have to be a Casanova to be successful with text messaging but there are some basic rules you should follow if you don't want that phone number to go to waste. Here you will learn five secrets to texting girls so that the next time you get a girls phone number you can be sure that she will go out with you.
Secret One: It's The Content Not the Timing
Guys obsess a lot over when they should ask a girl out after getting her phone number. While not appearing too desperate is important what is far more important is what message you send to her rather than the timing. If you send out a good text message then you could get her phone number in the morning and have her out on a date by the evening. If you send a bad message it doesn't matter if you observe "the three day rule or not"
Secret Two: Don't Ask Her Out on a Date
This might seem like a really strange thing to say. After all surely the entire point of getting her phone number is to get her out on a date. This is in fact only half true. You do want to get her out of her house and spending time with you. What you don't want to be doing is asking her out on a date. The distinction is as follows. When you ask a girl out on a date you are asking her ahead of time if you she would like to do something specific thing at a specific date and time. This might be to go to a movie with you, have dinner or go to a concert. The big problem with this approach is that she can easily reject you and if she does you won't be easily able to save the situation.
The alternative is to not preplan but next time you are doing something anyway invite her along. For example next time you are getting a coffee you shoot her a text telling her you are going to Starbucks and ask her if she would like to meet up, or next time you are going to see your friends band play you ask if she would like to come along and that you can put her name on the door. The great thing about this approach is if she says no it isn't a big problem. You didn't really ask her out so you can keep trying. Often you will find that while she won't go out with you that night if you get her on the right night you will be successful.
Secret Three: Keep It Informal
You don't want to be too formal with your texts. If you start out trying to be too formal such as telling her how much you like her or that you hope she had a good evening you are forcing her too choose whether she wants you to be her boyfriend or not. At the start of a relationship when she is not even comfortable with you yet there is a good chance she will reject you. Instead keep it fun and simple and talk to her like you already know her well.
Secret Four: Make a Connection
When we talk to our friends and family we don't introduce ourselves first or use other formalities. We start in the middle of an ongoing conversation. This is the best approach to use when texting a girl as well. Start by refereeing to something that happened last time you saw her. This helps to overcome the stranger problem that you don't really know each other. Instead it emphasizes your shared history no matter how short that is.
Secret Five: Don't Procrastinate
While you don't want to be asking her out on formal dates you shouldn't procrastinate either. The longer you spend texting her without getting her out on a date the less likely the text conversation will turn into a real relationship. Come up with something for the two of you to today as soon as possible after getting her phone number.
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Secret One: It's The Content Not the Timing
Guys obsess a lot over when they should ask a girl out after getting her phone number. While not appearing too desperate is important what is far more important is what message you send to her rather than the timing. If you send out a good text message then you could get her phone number in the morning and have her out on a date by the evening. If you send a bad message it doesn't matter if you observe "the three day rule or not"
Secret Two: Don't Ask Her Out on a Date
This might seem like a really strange thing to say. After all surely the entire point of getting her phone number is to get her out on a date. This is in fact only half true. You do want to get her out of her house and spending time with you. What you don't want to be doing is asking her out on a date. The distinction is as follows. When you ask a girl out on a date you are asking her ahead of time if you she would like to do something specific thing at a specific date and time. This might be to go to a movie with you, have dinner or go to a concert. The big problem with this approach is that she can easily reject you and if she does you won't be easily able to save the situation.
The alternative is to not preplan but next time you are doing something anyway invite her along. For example next time you are getting a coffee you shoot her a text telling her you are going to Starbucks and ask her if she would like to meet up, or next time you are going to see your friends band play you ask if she would like to come along and that you can put her name on the door. The great thing about this approach is if she says no it isn't a big problem. You didn't really ask her out so you can keep trying. Often you will find that while she won't go out with you that night if you get her on the right night you will be successful.
Secret Three: Keep It Informal
You don't want to be too formal with your texts. If you start out trying to be too formal such as telling her how much you like her or that you hope she had a good evening you are forcing her too choose whether she wants you to be her boyfriend or not. At the start of a relationship when she is not even comfortable with you yet there is a good chance she will reject you. Instead keep it fun and simple and talk to her like you already know her well.
Secret Four: Make a Connection
When we talk to our friends and family we don't introduce ourselves first or use other formalities. We start in the middle of an ongoing conversation. This is the best approach to use when texting a girl as well. Start by refereeing to something that happened last time you saw her. This helps to overcome the stranger problem that you don't really know each other. Instead it emphasizes your shared history no matter how short that is.
Secret Five: Don't Procrastinate
While you don't want to be asking her out on formal dates you shouldn't procrastinate either. The longer you spend texting her without getting her out on a date the less likely the text conversation will turn into a real relationship. Come up with something for the two of you to today as soon as possible after getting her phone number.
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